KUNG FU LENNIER AND COMMANDO GARIBALDI STRIKE BACH
Part 1 of 3
IT IS A DARK TIME FOR KUNG FU LENNIER AND COMMANDO GARIBALDI EVEN THOUGH THIS IS THE SEQUEL, AND GARIBALDI AND SHERIDAN HAVE BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE, THE SCUM OF THE UNIVERSE- NO, NOT BARNEY OR A POLITICIAN-LONDO MOLLARI HAS ALSO BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE...
BUT THAT IS NOT ALL, A VISIT FROM AN OLD "FRIEND" SENDS GARIBALDI AND LENNIER ON A SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH ABOUT THE PSI CORPS INSTALLATION ON MARS...
... ..... .... ... ... <<< IF YOU READ WHAT IS TO THE LEFT YOU DON'T NEED GLASSES.
Garibaldi, equipped with his usual commando gear, met Lennier on
the Zocalo. "Welcome back." Lennier said.
"It's good to be back." Garibaldi was cut off by Ambassador
Mollari.
"Meester Garibaldi." Londo said. "I am willing to forget
about that unfortunate incident that we had a few weeks ago. But,
like I was trying to tell you before, you must do something about
these Narns!"
"Lennier, would you like to do the honors?" Garibaldi asked.
"Yes I would." Lennier responded then turned towards Londo. Lennier
pulled out his LightSuber and ignited it. "Hastalavista, mop-head."
Londo turned and ran, but Lennier followed him down the cooridor.
"Lennier, here boy." Garibaldi called, and Lennier came running up
to him. Garibaldi pulled out his PPG rifle and pointed it a Londo, who
had not ran far. He was about to pull the trigger when his link
interrupted him. "Garibaldi here."
"Mike," Sheridan said over the link, "we have just recieved a
message from Earth that I think you might want to see."
"Alright I'll be right there. Garibaldi out." Garibaldi
deactivated his link while watching Londo enter a lift at the other
end of the Zocalo. Garibaldi pulled the trigger sending a pulse of
energy towards Londo. Garibaldi and Lennier turned before a pop and a
loud sizzle told them they had hit the Centauri ambassador.
Five minutes later, Garibaldi and Lennier sat across from Sheridan
and Ivanova in Sheridan's office. Sheridan pressed a sequence of
buttons on a data pad, the lights dimmed and a full-size hologram
of President Clark was displayed.
"This is President Clark to the Command Staff of Babylon 5."
The hologram said. "This is directed to Commander Michael Garibaldi.
Commander Garibaldi, you are ordered to turn over you recipe for
chocolate chip cookies to the Earth Force envoy enroute to
Babylon 5. Failure to do so, will result in you immediate arrest.
President Clark out." The hologram disappeared and the lights came
back on.
"You heard it for yourself," Sheridan said, "President Clark has
heard of your family's chocolate chip cookie recipe, and now he wants
it for himself."
"Captain, that recipe has been in my family since the Grant
administration. No one outside the family has known it, except for
Jimmy Hoffa, and you see what happened to him. Every generation of
Garibaldi has memorized it, it's never been written down." Garibaldi
pointed to his head. "It's all up here, I think."
"I know, but President Clark will stop at nothing to get it. The
transport carrying President Clark's little friends will arrive in
three hours. We have also learned that our old friend Mr. Bester
is also on the transport."
Lennier puller out his PPG pistol and charged it. "Well then
let's kill them before they have a chance to suck the recipe out of
Garibaldi's head. I've tasted his chocolate chip cookies, and they
cannot fall into the wrong hands."
"Put the PPG away, we're not going to kill anyone."
Lennier
growled and put the PPG away.
"Mr. Garibaldi, I am afraid that you are
going to have to give them your cookie recipe."
"With all due respect captain, no. You cannot make me do it. I
swear on my mother's grave that no one will get the recipe from
me!"
"Garibaldi," Ivanova said, "your mother's still alive."
"Oh, you know what I mean. You cannot make me give them the recipe."
"Garibaldi, I can't, but they can. Bester is a P12, the strongest
Psi Cop, and a very good dresser." Said Sheridan.
"I won't do it, captain."
Three hours later...
"Mester Garibaldi." Bester said walking into security.
Garibaldi pulled out his PPG rifle and aimed it at Bester. "That's
far enough. You'll never get the cookie recipe from me."
"I could suck it out of your brain right now if I wanted to. We can
do this the hard way, or we can do this the easy way."
Garibaldi set the rifle to full charge. "Yes we can." Garibaldi
smiled and pulled the trigger.
Bester lunged out of the way right before the bulkhead behind him
was reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes. Bester took refuge behind
a pile of boxes, but Garibaldi quickly incinerated them.
Bester ran into the other room. "Garibaldi, we both have our
orders. Your orders are to give me the recipe and my orders are to
get the recipe. Now, when the president gives us an order, we must
follow it. Right now he has ordered you to give me the recipe."
Bester stuck his head around the corner. "Can't we all just get
along?"
"No." Garibaldi said. Bester took of running before Garibaldi
incinerated the bulkhead behind him.
(c) 1997 Mike Bell
COMMANDO GARIBALDI AND KUNG FU LENNIER STRIKE BACH
Part 2 of 3
Garibaldi sat alone in his quarters twenty minutes before he shift
began watching ISN. "...And in other news, President Clark has erected
a solid gold statue to his honor in Clark's square, Clarkland. We'll
be right back with more of the propaganda you're used to after these
messages..." A picture of a small dog-like animal flashed on the
screen. "I like you, you like me, give me all of your mom's money!
Join the Ronny, the Pink Targ, video tape club today by calling
1-800-RIP-OFF." Garibaldi quickly jotted down the number. "You'll
get 1 Ronny video every hour for the next century including: Ronny's
Home Arsenal, Ronny Eats Get hungry (the last episode with guest
stars), The final episode: Ronny goes to the meat processing plant,
Ronny Teaches Windows '95 (eight video set) and many more. So call
call call call."
The door behind Garibaldi opened and Lennier walked in. Garibaldi
stood and turned to Lennier. "I am afraid I am going to have to
leave before Bester scans my mind and gets the cookie recipe." He
said.
"Then let me go with you, my place is by your side, blowing away
anything that moves." Lennier responded.
"No, you're place is home with your mother, father, and your pet
Targ."
"Garibaldi, my mother and father are dead, and my Targ ate them"
"Alright, what about Delenn?"
"I don't know anything about Delenn's family."
"Okay, okay. I'll see." Garibaldi glanced at a computer panel
on the wall. "I'm late for my shift." With that, Garibaldi left
the room.
Only a few minutes later, Garibaldi exited the lift on blue
level. Suddenly something hit him in the back of the neck and
everything went black...
Two weeks later...
Lennier walked around the corner and into Captain Sheridan's
office. Sheridan looked up. "You wanted to see me?" Sheridan
asked.
"Yes. I think that Garibaldi is missing." Lennier told
Sheridan.
"Why do you say that, Lennier?"
"I haven't heard from him or seen him in two weeks, the computer
says that his link is offline, and he left an eight course Italian
meal sitting out on his table. He's been gone too long to have gotten
lost."
"Hmmm." Sheridan thought. "I don't know, but Bester and his little
friends left abruptly two weeks ago." Sheridan's eyes opened wide as
he looked up at Lennier. "You're not thinking what I'm think, are
you?"
Lennier gasped. "Garibaldi kidnapped Bester and his aide!"
"No." Sheridan turned to the panel behind him and punched in a
sequence of commands. "The last charge to his credit account was
to the Ronny, the Pink Targ Video Tape Collection."
Lennier gasped again. "Garibaldi has been abducted by a loveable
children's character!"
Garibaldi awoke in a darkened cell, the only light came from a
dim light in the ceiling. Garibaldi stumbled out of a chair in the
center of the room. "Where am I he asked?"
The lights in the room brightened, and Garibaldi covered his eyes.
"Where am I?" He screamed. "Where am I?"
"How much do you remember?" A voice said.
"Who are you? Where am I?" Garibaldi stood up, ripped the arm of
of the chair, and went to a small access hatch. He hit it repeatedly
before the entire room was filled with gas. Garibaldi fell to his
feet.
The door opened and a man in a gas mask stepped in. "Acme chair
repair." The man said.
Garibaldi awoke to find Bester standing infront of him. "Where am
I?" Garibaldi said droggily.
"You're on Mars." Bester said. "Come with me."
Bester lead Garibaldi out of the cell and down the twisting
corridors. Bester finally stopped at a door and inserted a card into
the panel. The doors opened and they stepped in.
Garibaldi gasped at what he saw... Automated machinery ran a giant
packaging plant. "It's a...a...giant cookie factory." Garibaldi
said. As far as he could see, machinery packaged all kinds of cookies
from chocolate chip to Chucks O Targ under the martian surface.
"This is the Psi Corps installation on Mars, Mr. Garibaldi. We
package the galaxy's cookies. This is why we want your family's
chocolate chip cookie recipe. So, I will ask you nicely-" Bester
pulled out a PPG pistol and pointed it at Garibaldi-" please, give it
to me."
"No, I won't do it. I'll die before I'll give you the recipe."
"We can arrange that." Bester responded. "Give me the recipe
now."
"No." Garibaldi took off running down the corridor. He ran
for ten minutes with Bester right behind him.
Garibaldi turned the corner and entered a small room and Bester
ran by thinking he had gone on down the cooridor.
Garibaldi switched on the lights and was shocked at what he saw.
PPG pistols and rifles hung on the walls, boxes on top of boxes of
hand grenades, and Tang, barrels and barrels of Tang.
(c) 1997 Mike Bell
KUNG FU LENNIER AND COMMANDO GARIBALDI STRIKE BACH
Part 3 of 3
Later that day, Lennier boarded a transport for Mars and left
the station.
Garibaldi sat alone in the armory drinking bottle after bottle
of Tang, considering how he was going to get off of Mars and back
to Babylon 5, or at least some tropical planet inhabited by a
primitive humanoid society, with cable.
Garibaldi pushed the pile of bottles off of him and struggled
to his feet. He grabbed a nearby PPG rifle and a belt of hand
grenades which he slung over his shoulder. He went to the door,
and after fifteen minutes of re-routing power, he sealed the
pressure locks, further locking the door.
After ten more minutes, he finally opened the doors. Garibaldi
stepped out into the corridor and walked up to a map on the
opposite bulkhead. "Let's see, you're here, Bester's Beach is
there, ah here we go, Shuttle Landing facility."
"Don't move, Mr. Garibaldi." Garibaldi turned to see Bester
standing infront of him with a PPG pistol aimed right at him.
Garibaldi pulled out his PPG rifle, and Bester dropped his pistol
and picked up a V-31 Hand-Held Rocket Launcher
Garibaldi's mouth dropped open as he set down his PPG rifle and
picked up a Tri-Barreled Minbari-Killer Portable-Laser cannon.
Bester dropped the rocked launcher and ran. A few minutes later
he returned in a M-13 Abrahms Tank. "Ok," Garibaldi said
sheepishly, "you win."
Bester took Garibaldi to a scientific research center in the
complex. He then hooked Garibaldi up to an array of different
equipment.
"Hmmm." Garibaldi thought examining the wrist and ankle
restraints "Wonder how I'm gonna get out of this one?" He looked
down at his shoes. "Oh! If the restraints weren't enough!
They've tied my shoelaces together!"
"Ok, Mr. Garibaldi, we are going to run a few tests on you. I
promise you this won't hurt...much." Bester flipped a switch on
the wall, sending sparks flying from the machinery Garibaldi was
hooked up to.
Bester sat down beside an assistant who was intensely starring
at a computer monitor. "What a sick and twisted mind." Bester
said studying the readouts. "He likes Tang!"
"Let him go." Lennier demanded from the doorway.
"Oh look, how cute, it's Garibaldi's little Minbari friend
trying rescue Garibaldi. Aahhh." Bester said while looking at
the Minbari holding to PPG rifles. Bester bent over and picked
up his Tri-barreled Minbari-Killer Laser Cannon and aimed it at
Lennier.
"Eek!" Lennier screamed like a mouse and then lunged out of
the way. Seconds later three laser blast ripped open the bulkhead
behind Lennier.
Garibaldi, realizing his faithful companion was in danger,
returned to consciencenus. He screamed as he ripped himself from
his restraints. Looking around the room, Garibaldi found a PPG
rifle sitting on a table behind him.
Bester aimed his PPG at Lennier and prepared to fire. "Excuse
me." Garibaldi said pointing the PPG rifle at Bester. "Walter,
would you be considered a guest star or a recurring guest star?"
"Ah." Bester said, "A recurring guest star."
"Good." Garibaldi then opened fire at shot off eighteen rounds
at Bester. Bester fell to the floor, smoldering. Lennier
approached him. "Could you have cut that anymore close?"
"Probably not."
Lenni
er and Garibaldi exited a lift tube and made their way
through the winding corridors to the shuttle docking bay. After
five minutes of wandering, they finally arrived at the docking
bay.
"Not so fast, Garibaldi." A voice said behind them as they
boarded a shuttle. Garibaldi turned to see Bester standing in
the doorway aiming two PPG rifles, a PPG pistol and a water gun
at them. "Move away from the shuttle or I will shoot you ."
Bester charged both rifles.
Garibaldi and Lennier slowly moved away from the shuttle with
their hands up. "If you give me the recipe, you can board the
shuttle and leave Mars now."
"Alright." Garibaldi said and removed a piece of paper from
his pocket. "You win. Do you have pen?"
"Yeah right here." Bester handed Garibaldi the pen and
Garibaldi wrote something on the paper.
"Garibaldi," Lennier said, "you can't do this. You can't give
them the recipe."
"We've already lost. Here it is." Garibaldi handed the paper
to Bester.
"Alright, you can go." Bester said and they boarded the
transport. Bester left the docking bay and returned to the
production plant.
"Here is the recipe," he said to his assistant, "Input it into
the computer immediately." The man took the recipe and inputted
it into the computer. Suddenly alarm sirens rang out throughout
the installation. "What's going on?" Bester asked.
"We've lost coolant control." Explosions rocked the area and
Bester was thrown against the bulkhead.
"Why did you do it?" Lennier said to Garibaldi.
Garibaldi turned to the co-pilots chair. "I didn't give them
my cookie recipe. I gave them the recipe for Delenn's
Tang/Coconut balls."
"Uhhh. Garibaldi how could you? Have you ever tried them? If
they make and distribute those it could spell the end of all
life in the galaxy as we know it."
"Don't worry, their equipment will never be able to duplicate
the recipe." Garibaldi responded.
"Garibaldi!" Bester screamed from underneath a pile of rubble.
He struggled to his feet to see the entire installation lying in
ruins.
"Warning: TOO MUCH TANG!" Flashed in red on the only computer
monitor with power.
(c) 1997 Mike Bell