Garibaldi's Secret Security Manual
Babylon 5 Classifieds (New)



1. Keep Bester out of your head.

2. Don't ride with 'SHADOWS'.

3. Drinking with alien Ambassadors with weird hair can
lead to hair loss.

4. Don't turn your back on anyone, you may get shot or

5. Marvin The Martian RULES!

6. Thinking lewd thoughts about a Psi Corps chick can
get you in trouble when she's standing next to you.

7. Never let a Minbari help you unless you want to finish
the job.

8. Remember the ZX11 NINJA, and keep it upright. (and try
to keep it under 175 mph while riding IN THE STATION!)

9. Never fill a tube with bullets and expect them to shoot
out the end when heat is applied. 999,999,999,999 times
out of a trillion, the tube will blow up in your face.

10. Trust the Psi Corps...NOT!!!!!

The Babylon 5 Classifieds

We love to laugh and so we are introducing a new section Online entitled: Classifieds. This section will give you an opportunity to vent all that excess creativity you have floating around in that brain of yours. These are lighthearted ads you think would or could show up in a paper on Babylon Five. Classifieds include Help Wanted, Personals, Lost/Found, for sale, Garage Sales, and Advertisements. (These are not screened for spoilers, only for humor so proceed at your own risk of spoiling) Here are a few:

Help Wanted:

Rangers Wanted: Supply own pike, will supply shadows. Contact Delenn aka Entil'za c/o B5. (maylandL)

Want Ads:

Wanted: A Homeworld, make an offer! All offers considered!!!! Contact Lyta (or Byron) Downbelow
Wanted: Four Post Bed...Contact Susan Ivanova (Purple)
Wanted: Earth cat. Must have webbed feet, bill, and go quack. Contact Vir Cotto, c/o Centauri Prime Minister.

For Rent or Sale:

For Sale: One Book of G'Kar, never read. Contact Ta'Lon (b5fanatic)
For Sale: Telepaths Only!! You know what, you know where, you know how much I want for it, you know where to contact me. (Kudos)
Rent: Spacious room in Brown Sector, no furniture, a few pizza stains on carpet. (Security Chief pining at door NOT included) Contact Lyta in Down Below. (Purple)
For Sale: One Poison filled spike. Only used once. Contact Vir Cotto, c/o Centauri Prime.


Desperately Seeking Susan... Lost one Earth ForceCommander last seen in end credits of Season 4. Need to touch..ah... get in touch with her. Very Urgent. If seen or found please contact Marcus c/o Babylon 5 Cryogenic freezer. (Elemental)
Seeking: Single male in security searching for romance... LYTA THIS MEANS YOU!!! You know who... (Purple)
SWM (Single White Minbari) seeking half human half Minbari hybrid for a lasting relationship. Must like prayers, Grey council member a plus... Contact Lennier c/o Babylon 5 (b5fanatic)

We need you!

Here at Med Lab, we encounter many varied and interesting species. But since the trade embargo, we have run a little light on medical supplies and parts. That's why we need your help. In order to maintain the level of excellence that is our service we need body parts desperately. All we ask is that you fill out an organ donor card. Do it today...Or we'll take them anyway !
Thank you. Your Friendly B5 Medical Staff
(:-) Elemental)

E Mail us with your Classified!!!